Thursday, 19 June 2014

A dark night at crematorium on 17th june 2013

Except for the one who lived or witnessed  , It is just one more moment in the phase of life. nothing significant or relate to it unless it leaves bundle of memory to you. Because generally we always connect with our limited memory , only thru which we can connect to the moment.

I called it as limited memory because even in that , we don’t know what our every cell has in it. It may have memories right from the stage of amoeba. But what we call as our memory is just a span of small time , between our age of 5 to now.

Every day lot of moments passed in one’s life. I am sure not many of us have such memory to remember everything that we gone thru in it. Generally , only when the moment passes thru with a kind of intensity and power to penetrate ,it lefts its impact strongly. For ages and ages we speak about it .

The one that  I want to talk about it is one such kind for sure. The recent history of Himalayas never faced such a kind . For one who encountered it is like he/she does not want to talk about it or remember it. For another who just listen the tales are so interesting and add curiosity to hear more versions.

Its just sheer power of the moment expressed in the waves. The fury of nature reminds its supreme power. The human is just becoming like toy in its hands. It proves the stories of maha pralaya that is been talking in veda’s and scriptures.

Today (17th june 2014) when all news channels mercilessly increasing the TRP rate without the concern or feel for life for what the individual faced. I see many tv crew in guptakashi for past 2 days. They don’t have anything new to show. All they want is sensational.

Somebody’s pain is the investment to earn. Its just coincidence or planned I don’t know . just now some one showed me the recent incident happened at himachal . could not be able to see after 1.30 min , when water topples them.

On the other hand , The video Clearly express the ignorance of educated. Their whole focus is on joy. They totally forget that they are standing in forest river, which anytime can raise. The common illiterate man will handle life better, because of he/she connected with nature around them,  I feel.
For sure the video shooter never expected he will record one such moment in his/her life. he/she may be did it to show it to their family and friends. But the local media reporter would have earned good money by selling it . I hope so.

Because I know how many lobbied me for the audio of this moment, which accidently recorded in my mp3 player for 1.30 mins. They does not even offered any payment. but so diplomatically spoken by various ways to get that. 

They also tried to get the video we recorded just on the 16th even by 4 pm. We simply recorded when we saw the water level in mandagini is just need another feet to touch the bridge that connecting kedarpuri to the trek path. Both of them we not ready to give. Especially the last sounds of many many beings at the temple gate.

Though it is just jai kedar and ohm namashivaya , and chalo chalo andhar chalo – still the intensity one can’t get from anywhere. Because it is the shout of people who are in 3 to 4 feet water current. for Few of them life not given choice to utter second time.

It is one such moment for every one who spared with life at Kedarnath on this day 17th june of last year 2013. Many others are blessed with death. They don’t have this struggle to carry.

All their struggle ended there itself, may be just for few seconds. The nature taken care of their destiny. Now this video that I seen in the evening flashing in my eyes again and again.

past mid night , I had same kind of tuning of chanting with my breath as I had in the last year night. The darkness of kedar blinking in my burning eyes. The gently waving hand of that unknown person who caught under debris disturbing my vision. My memory able to recollect every small thing that my eye balls witnessed.

All their struggle is for survival. But in the process of survival many lost war. Many feel they have won because of …….. (u can fill ur own reasons) .

May be I just postponed my last moment. The death is always waiting next to me. Its just waiting to swallow. As the moment made me to survive , the same moment also waiting to swallow.

Whether it is survive or swallowed , it just make difference only for me. No one is going to remember me. Or in otherwords few will have thoughts and emotions about me , here and there in their life , till they have such a thing , called memory.

Anyway its all too philosophical. Now we have it . And you aware of what you have. that’s the point. And that’s big difference can make both for you and for life around you.

Now I have been given others life , to survive and do things with much devotion, perseverance, passion, etc etc. For all the people who lived with me , in one of the previous moment, which I can connect with it , with date and time (17th june 2013) at Kedarnath , I bow down to you.

As a ordinary being , in this one year , I really moved lot within me. People due to their devotion praising about my services. For them I have to say , I am not worth for your praise. I have not done anything great. I just carrying the same passion and desire to make it happen.

It is me not interest to talk all these things. It is me want to capitalize something, honestly I accept. I have paid huge price. So now I want to buy the development for the price I given. That’s all.

And it is not so easy. Because I don’t have anything either capability or skill to get it. I am not even representing any organization for them to get relate. I don’t have huge vote bank behind me as followers. All I have is just passion for life.

In this one year I Learned to wait, just to wait. And keep working to make that possibility into reality.

Its keys of the grace that working. It only found expression as it wants to present itself at these steps. Some how life taken me infront of state CM. The doors of the decision making body is just open. Exactly on yesterday I entered in to it with my stuff , that I want to share. I will do my best.

I will create. Sorry , there is no I in my life since last one year. I always felt as representative of many many. To appear in discovery Tv , from a rural india, thousands and thousands of people buried themselves in the earth. I have not walked on top soil which eaten dead bodies. I walked on dead bodies itself. That’s why I claim You people also be a part of me. Without you , I am not here in this moment as I am.

But still one can See how fool I am , because  saying as I will create. Even this is wrong presentation , I would say.

Not just because of flood and deaths , even before, I was contributed by many many others. I am just miniscule of what they are. Just representing their contribution with my own limitations and mistakes.

Though I want to relate every one who graced my life moments , practically it is not possible for anyone to express. But all these is because of one person in my life so I am expressing to him.

he is the source of me . I am not yet worth to utter the word that can refer to him , but still I don’t have any other word or expression to make it.

He stands me embodiment of everybody and everything that I exposed , experienced and can be related. He was with me , even before I realize I am with him.

His every exhale of breath is the inhale to my life. And it just made me to get connected with him and everything that I call life or death.

i am just connected with the mud where he walked in the planet. I am just filled with the air that he breathes . I am just connected with the water he interacted. I am just carrying the fire he initiated. I am just living in the vast space of sky , who he is.

I can’t express my gratitude to him. I don’t want feel separated from him by expressing gratitude . But still if one does not have benevolence for what he /she has in this moment , his/her life will not profound to its totality, wholeness. So I am just using this moment of opportunity to express myself.

I am nowhere near to him for what he is. But still I just want to carry a miniscule of what he is. Only he made it possible for me. Only he made it to realize the present. Only he and he everywhere.

But he is reflected and manifested in you. Because I always refers him , as you , to him. So in that way its you and you only in my life.

Now the moment is here. You as you exists. I with you exists. So we create.

We create…

To express our gratitude by sharing what we have.

That’s my offering to you , the people who lived in this moment , in the year 16th and 17th june 2013. I may not know any detail about you. Here and there , Just know a miniscule of informations about you . though it can’t express anything about you , still I always relate only with that. That’s my limitation.

The sound of mandagini still reverberating my ears. The chillness of it can be felt by skin. The eyes are just stuck with 70 ft height and more than 200 ft water on both sides of the temple. It is not even the water. Just a brown and black wall. The vision has struck with  what it exposed.

The fear of losing occupied every cell. The silence of space filled in me. Emptiness in me reverberate his sacred name. the moment has everything . but its just nothing. The everything is just what I can related. Its just a miniscule of that nothing. that’s all.

The miniscule of what I can relate makes me feel to be whole by itself. If so , how the wholeness just by it. That’s what named as “sadhguru”

Note : my expose of disaster management , post flood situations in the valley and my visit on 15th oct 2013 to Kedarnath , after I have been been rescued from Kedarnath on 18th june 2013, all joined hands together lit the fire to work for to create. In the name of  project “save kedar” I just presented the exact status as article.

On this desire , dropped mails and letters to few , whom I thought they can take it up or lead me. Though learned to live joyfully and with gratitude ,still had pain of loss in deep.

These things made me to reach chief minister of the state , for the first time in my life , who is having such role of authority in decision making and implementation. By the blessing of you and many wonderful beings , I have got his support to volunteer myself on few aspects.

Above all he also ordered the district administration to find out all the solutions and suggestions that I have and report to him. In this process the presence of Pujjya swamiji chidanandha maharaj has helped lot to me also trained me lot , without speaking much.

Now on the request of superidentent of police (SP) of rudraprayag , exactly after one year of the flood moment day , yesterday I submitted the copy of power point presentation , which I would like to present for chief minister, for the improvement of my people and state, for the safety of pilgrims , development of state, and new kedarpuri

I know my solutions are not 100 % full proof or complete by itself. It may not fit into basics at various levels. But the working process for it , given me lot. When every one talks about problem, it made me to talk about the solution.

When everybody has lot of complaints , when I have every possibility to complain , it made me to see beyond that. It made me to erase the complaint  by finding the solution to it.

Trusting that your presence and absence will create , what we want create….
Do you know what we create…

I know every one who joins with me , in that , will talk about somany things that they want to create. Already a handful of people , willing to stand up to represent this. Now I am not single any more.

By this I given the three that he asked long ago. They are not perfect human beings. They may not have skills. But they are wonderful contribution to the world , in the name of aspiration and desire, that they want to work for.
Its time we create … the people

And it has all room for all possibilities to create . that’s the worth. And it may produce people who knows that their mission is never complete one . always they failed in their mission but their passion to work for , is always complete one. That’s the beauty of we create.

Would you also like to join to work together with me

Then just drop a mail to me.

Let’s explore the possibilities.


No comments:

Post a comment