(Note - not to complain for lengthy article , if u have time go thro else ok , but it is a beautiful moment in my life which i wish to remember forever and be gratitude for all those who graced my life) POOkkal Pookkum Tharunam ( the moment when a flower petels blooms) Being in Kedarnath - the abode of shiva - one more time in less than 20 days period When somebody lives in longing to see what he/she feels is beautiful or when somebody experiences the distance between whom they want to be with, or when one fall in love ...... time is always a tester for them . The absence is so powerful than the presence, even presence can be missed but no one can miss the absence, because every miniscule of you is intruded by their presence in some way. And if the intruder is very cruel and at the same time so compassionate , both together ........ our logical mind will always says it is never possible , either one must be true , both can't be together, but the beauty of life is such , it has contra also in the same moment. The man who is whole by himself, normally referred as " shiva " or " Guru" -always beyond this duality. one getting expose to this dimension or the presence of such people in their life itself only by their grace. That's why sage manivasaga says in tiruvasagam, " kasindhurugi nalam than illatha siriyaeru , nilam than mael vandharuli , neel kazhalgal katti , nayair kadaiyai kidandha adiyerkku, thayir sirandha thayavana thathuvanae " ( கசிந்துருகி நலம்தான் இலாத சிறியேற்கு , நிலம்தன் மேல் வந்தருளி நீழ்கழல்கள் காட்டி , நாயிற் கடையாய் கிடந்த அடியேற்கு தாயிற் சிறந்த தயாவான தத்துவனே ) - which means , he refers shiva as, when me not even longing for you , the compassionate you came in the form of guru , graced my life with your lotus feet, on this being , who is lowest creature than the dog, oh my lord, your compassion and love is even above the mother's for her child. This is how me keep thinking about kedar and how to go , in the last 20 days, since i came down by the advice of some sadhu's. Thanks to cine lyrist muthukumar and the singers of the song , pookal pookum tharunam ,in madarasapattinam, they beautiful expressed this in words and sounds, " Netru varai neram poga villaiyae uanadharugae neram podhavillayae yeduvum pesavillayae indru yeno yeduvum thondravillayae - idhu yedhvo" நேற்றுவரை நேரம் போகவில்லையே உனதருகே நேரம் போதவில்லையே எதுவும் பேசவில்லையே இன்று ஏனோ எதுவும் தோன்றவில்லையே இது எதுவோ which means , till yesterday , time moves in dead slow , passing a single moment is like passing like a yuga ( million of years), today when i am with you, it running so fast, that a yuga passes like a moment, in your absence i am thinking , somuch want to speak with you but nothing spoke but now not even a single thought in me , because of your presence - what is this ? Though i attempted few times to go up to kedar, in the last 20 days, some how i did not feel to made it , and returned from gaurikund. But everytime i go , Devi blessed me with new people, and some winter material from some shop, slowly i got everything that required to manage minus degrees. On the other hand, the temperature in kedar is also threatening with - 12 and -14. But i had strong wish and desire to go kedar, atleast for the closing day, to be in the ambiance of samadhi pooja and to have samadhi dharsan before closure of temple for winter. I heard lot about the age old lengthy process , nearly 1 hour pooja, for shiva, the kedareshwara, which makes him to be in samadhi state for next 6 months. Though i reached gaurikund , but still i am very reluctant due to the need of climbing fast, to reach before noon, because of walking with luggage in this altitude , and to avoid the snowfall , which may start anytime after 12 noon. on the bus i met three people, who is from south india, one of them is in delhi for his official work ,every year for a period of next 3 months since october end. I helped them to get their winter needs, to be in - 12 degree and suggested them to go in horse so that they can reach the top at the earliest. Because the delhi job person wants to back at the earliest, if possible on the same day, after spending couple of hours due to he has to join duty after the diwali holidays to carry his business . We talked about nayanmars, the sages and saints how and all they lived, how and all they expressed their state of bliss . The kedar is blessed by the sages sambandar and sundaramoorthy nayanar , in 3 A.D. , still the culverts has their songs behind of the temple. when they invited me to join with them, i was reluctant , because i don't want to spoil their plan and schedule due my slow walk. But they graced and blessed my moments, by including me also in their team, and took me to the abode of shiva. The lord, kedareshwara also so compassionate to reduce the temperature from - 14 to -8 for the day. The shiva , utsav moorthy is getting ready in dol i with decorations, in the presence and music of sikh regiment unit of military from Rudraprayag, which will accompany his winter journey to the down , to ukimath, where he stays for next 6 months. The Evening arathi , so beautiful to see the graceful and joyous moments of the priest, made me ecstatic once more in my life. 99 percent of shops already closed and most of them already departed down. The very few who are there also in packing mood, in the amidst of presence of military, district authorities and police, to ensure the earliest evacuation , where snowfall may get deposited 15 to 20 feet height in winter. The less accomodation and facilities, made everything so costly even for the visiting 150 to 200 people , who wants to witness the samadhi pooja. I did not able to sleep in bed after coming from arati, so fresh and comfortable within myself, simply sit with closed eyes,. It looks like i have been for few moments before go to bed, but when i open it is 2 am , the temple gates opened for early morning special dharshan with gongs and bell sounds. In that moment , again muthukumar and co , popped up in my mind with their voice " iravum vidiya villaiyae - adhu vidindhal pagalum mudiya villaiyae " இரவும் விடியவில்லையே அது விடிந்தால் பகலும் முடியவில்லையே which means night has not ended with dawn, but when the dawn comes the day also not ended, simply the moments continues beyond night and day , with your presence and absence I went to temple at 3 am , and after guru pooja , i came out and sit for meditation till they close temple for samadhi pooja arrangements. During the samadhi pooja, no place for even that small gathering of 200 people, i just moved aside and stand with a pillar, to avoid the crowd and to be alone by myself in such powerful and unique atmosphere. when every one rushed to have a glimpse of dharshan of pooja, shiva going into samadhi, i thought, (it is just my foolish thought) what is there in witnessing somebody goes into samadhi, may be if i get , if i be in that state , it will be an real offering to him and my guru. ( the article i read about "thinnai swamigal" , who is disciple of Bagavan Ramana came in my mind) But at the same time, on the other hand, i enjoyed the presence of such grate devotees, their chants and mantras, the sounds and atmosphere of pooja, the chillness of weather, the warmthness of being inside the temple, etc etc . For a moment , i thought, what a crazy people, every one has something to offer him, in the way they know, me the poor fellow not even learned anything ,to communicate with him in sounds . But the chillness of silence, presence and absence of sadhguru, powerful process of samadhi pooja, the atmosphere brought few words in some rhythm in me , which i want to write at the moment, but dont have paper and pen, so i left it and just be with it in that moment . (which i post later ) in the moment of experiencing the grace and love of sadhguru and shiva, again muthukumar and co struck my mind with their voice " Varthai thevai illai vazhum kalam varai Guruvin mouna mozhi pesumae Netru thevai illai Nalai thevai illai indru indha nodi podumae " வார்த்தை தேவையில்லை வாழும் காலம் வரை குருவின் மௌனமொழி பேசுமே நேற்று தேவையில்லை நாளை தேவையில்லை இன்று இந்த நொடி போதுமே which means - no need of verbal or physical communication till my death because guru's silence speaks lot (which i changed as guru ) , and no need of either yesterday or tomorrow because this moment is enough in my life , which is so complete and whole by itself with his presence and absence After the pooja, went for his samadhi dharsan, though it is just few fraction of seconds, i lost myself . muthukumar and co again singing in my mind , " verindri vidhaiyendri vinthoovum mazhai yendru idhu yenna ivan thotram poo pookudhae vazhindri porindri vali thindra yugthamindri idhu yenna ivanukkul yenai velluthae " வேரின்றி விதையின்றி விண்தூவும் மழையென்று இது என்ன இவன் தோற்றம் பூ பூக்குதே வாளின்றி போரின்றி வலிதின்ற யுக்தமின்றி இது என்ன இவனுக்குள் எனை வெல்லுதே which means - with out seed or roots, the suyambhu bloomed as magnamous tree in the sky and poor his rain of grace, with his beautiful look and wonderful decoration. with out sword or war or being in battlefield, he conquers me within himself by his wonderful presence. tears in my eyelids is a small expression of gratitude for sadhguru and shiva and for muthukumar and co. with chillness of silence , penetrating every cell of my body, i come down with an emptiness in me and sadhguru in my thought. But i can hear the chant of muthukumar and co, somewhere in my mind, " yendha megam idhu yendhan vasal vandhu yengum ieera mazhai thoovuthae yendha uravu idhu yeduvum puriyavillai yendra podhum idhu neeludhae yar yendru ariyamal per kooda theriyamal ivanodu oru sondham uruvanadhae yenendru kekkaamal thaduthalum nirkamal ivan pogum vazhi yengum manam poguthae padhai mudindha piragum yen payanam mudiyavillaiyae adhil parandha paravai maraindha piragum........" எந்த மேகம் இது எந்தன் வாசல் வந்து எங்கும் ஈரமழை பொழியுதே எந்த உறவு இது எதுவும் புரியவில்லை என்ற போதும் இது நீளுதே யார் என்று அறியாமல் பேர் கூட தெரியாமல் இவனோடு ஒரு சொந்தம் உருவானதே ஏனென்று கேட்காமல் தடுத்தாலும் நிற்காமல் இவன் போகும் வழிஎங்கும் மனம் போகுதே பாதை முடிந்தபிறகும் என் பயணம் முடியவில்லையே அதில் பறந்த பறவை மறைந்த பிறகும்,,,,,,,,, which means - don't know the name of the cloud which came to my doorstep and pours the showers of his grace, don't know the kind of relationship, not understood anything but still it is continous with me, don't know who is this, not even know the name but still there is an eternal relationship with him, mind, though and emotion simply goes behind him - neither could not control by logical questions nor could not stop going behind the road has come to end but still the journey continous with his presence and absence like the vastness of sky continues even after the flying bird disappears from eyesight I reached a day before to guptakasi, to witness the arrival of utsav moorthy here, on the enroute of ukimath. The whole village gathered to give warm reception to kedar baba, who visits their place after 6 months, when he (doli) enters temple , he straightly went to the door step of lord viswanath, to exchange their plesantries, and with in few minutes gone to his guest house. The pradhan poojari who came with doli, utsav moorthy, left his sandals, at the place where i stand, so as me to pick up his padukas and preserve before go to dharsan of lord viswanath. His assistant came and took it after some time. It reminded me the moment of sadhguru leaving his padugas, before he goes to temple, and when i collect it and keep it , swami Bujanga will come and collect it later. waiting at his feet , in his ambiance, himalayas, so as to go for my next scheudule .