Friday, 29 November 2013

எதையோ சொல்ல முயற்சிக்கிறேன்

ஒரு சிற்பி பலதும் செய்கிறான் அனைத்தும் ஒரே விதமாய் இருப்பதில்லை ஒரு குயவன் பலவகை பானை செய்கிறான் அனைத்தும் அவனை பிரதிபலிப்பது இல்லை இதற்கு பல காரணங்கள் பல முரண்பாடுகள்

இவற்றை என்னுள்ளும் , என்னை சுற்றிலும் கூட நான் உணர்கிறேன் பல சமயங்களில் , சில சமயங்களில் நான் எந்த பக்கம் பேசுகிறேன் என்பதே குழப்பமாகிவிடுகிறது இப்படி இரண்டையும் கலந்து பேசுவதால்

ஒரு பரிமாணத்தை மட்டுமே ஒழுங்காக பேச முடியாத உலகில் --- ஹிரோவும் நானே வில்லனும் நானே என்றால் படம் பார்ப்பவருக்கும் குழப்பம் ஏற்படத்தானே செய்யும் , நடிப்பவருக்கு வேண்டுமானால் தான் ஒரு கமலஹாசன் என்று எண்ணம் இருக்கலாம் ஆனால் பார்ப்பவனுக்கு சலிப்பைத்தான் ஏற்படுத்தும் ஏனென்றால் அவன் நம் மேதாவித்தனத்தை எதிர்பார்க்கவில்லை , நம் பார்வையை மற்றும் கருத்தை மட்டுமே எதிர் கொள்கிறான்

பலமுறை இவரைப் பற்றி கேள்வி பட்டுள்ளேன் எழுத்துரு பற்றி விவாதத்தில் எழுதியதே புரியவில்லையே என யோசித்தும் உள்ளேன் தேவையின்றி சச்சரவுகள் மூலம் தன்னை பிரபலபடுத்துகிறாரோ என்றும் கூட யோசித்து உள்ளேன்

இன்று இக்கட்டுரையை ஒருவர் எனக்கு பரிந்துரைத்து இருந்தார் அதனால் படிக்க நேர்ந்தது ,

இதில் ஒரளவு சமநிலையாகவே இருபுறத்தையும் --முரண்பாடுகளை அழுகாகவே காட்டியுள்ளார்னு படுது ஆனா இப்படி ஆராய்ச்சி செஞ்சா எதுவுமே மிஞ்சாது . என்ன சொல்ல வர்றார் அப்படிங்கறது கடைசி வரை இதுதான் புரிஞ்சிக்க முடியாது , ஏன்னா இவரது பார்வைய எழுத்துல கொண்டு வர்ற முயற்சித்துள்ளார்,   ஆனால் எத்தனை பேருக்கு இது புரிந்து கொள்ள முடியும் என்பது எனக்கு தெரியவில்லை,

எழுத்து என்பதும், அதை எழுதுவதும் பிறர் புரிந்து கொள்ளத்தானே , நமக்கு புரிநது கொள்வதற்காக எதையும் நாம் எழுதுவதில்லையே,

ஆதலால் முரண்பாடுகளை பற்றி பேசும் போது, முரணியத்தை பற்றி பேசும்போது,  முரண்பாடுகள் இன்றி ஒரு பரிமாணத்திலேயே பயணம் செய்தால் நல்லது

ஆனால் அதிலும் பிரச்சனை இருக்கத்தான் செய்கிறது அடுத்தமுறை அதன் எதிர்புறத்தில் பேசினால் அன்று அப்படி சொன்னாயே இன்று மாற்றிப் பேசுகிறாய் என்று கூறுவார்கள் , ஆனால் இதிலாவது ஒரளவு புரிந்து கொள்ள வாய்ப்பிருக்கிறது என்றே தோணுகிறது,

நாம் உலகை பார்ப்பதும் நாம் உலகில் செயல்படுவதும் இரு வெவ்வேறு நிலைகள் , பார்ப்பதைப் போலவே செயல் படமுடியாது , ஆனால் அற்புதமான செயல் புரிய அழகான மற்றும் தெளிவான பார்வை அவசியமும் கூட ,

இதையெல்லாம் புரியும் வரை , இதையெல்லாம் கற்று தெளியும் வரை , இதையெல்லாம் பயன்படுத்துவதில் லாவகம் பெறும் வரை மௌனமே சிறந்தது

இருந்தாலும் பகிர்கிறேன் , முடிந்தால் புரிந்து கொள்ளுங்கள் , இல்லையெனில் விவாதத்தில் நேரம் கழிக்காது வேறு உபயோகரமான வேலையை பாருங்கள் அதுதான் இருவருக்கும் உத்தமம்

பக்தியா இருக்கறவங்க பக்தியா இருந்துட்டு போகட்டும், நாத்திகம் பேசறவங்க நாத்திகம் பேசட்டும், சோஷியல் சர்வீஸ் பண்ண நினைக்கறவங்க எதுக்காக ஆன்மீகம் பரப்ப சொல்லனும்

அவரவர் நிலையில் அவரவர் உயர்ந்தவரே , ஞானிகளும் சித்தர்களுமே அவங்க கிட்ட வந்த மனுசங்களுக்கு அவங்களுடைய நிலைக்கு தகுந்தாப்பலதான் பேசறாங்களே தவிர இவங்களோட ஞானத்தை கொண்டு போய் விளம்பரப் படுத்திக்கிறது இல்ல ,

இப்பத்தான் புரியுது ஏன் பிரச்சனைகளையும் விமர்சனங்களையும் சந்திக்கிறார்னு, நெற்றிக்கண் திறப்பினும் குற்றம் குற்றமே -- வசனம் நல்லாத்தான் இருக்கு

ஆனா நிதர்சன வாழ்க்கையில் போய் ஒரு அரசியல் செல்வாக்கு உள்ள மனுசன் கிட்ட சொல்லிப் பாருங்க அப்ப தெரியும் அந்த சொல்லுக்கு எவ்வளவு சக்தி  இருக்குன்னு

நாம் நாமளாகவே இருப்போம் நம்மால் முடிந்ததை பிறரோடு பகிர்ந்து வாழ்வை இனிதாக்குவோம்

எல்லோரும் இன்புற்று இருக்க வேறுஒன்றும் யாமறியேன் பராபரமே

தினை விதைத்தவன் தினை அறுப்பான்
வினை விதைத்தவன் வினை அறுப்பான்

http://www.jeyamohan.in/?p=26158

ஆனா நான் எதுவும் சொல்ல வரலேங்க இந்த கட்டுரையில் , இப்படி முரண்பாடான தியரிய பத்தி மட்டும் பேசறேங்க , இப்படி சொன்னா எப்படி?

நிச்சயமா நான் எதுவும் சொல்ல வரலேங்க. ஆனா எதையோ சொல்ல முயற்சிக்கிறேன் அப்படின்னு போட்டுட்டு இவ்வளவு தூரம் எழுதிட்டு இப்ப இப்படி சொன்னா எப்படினு நீங்க கேட்கலாம்? அதுதாங்க முரண்பாடே

அதுதான் நீங்க இப்ப படிச்சீட்டீங்களே , நீங்க படிக்கறீங்கன்னா நீங்க எனக்கும் எழுத்துக்கும் ரசிகர்னுதானே அர்த்தம் , ஆனா நீங்க ரசிக்கும் போதே , குழப்பமா உணர்ந்திங்கன்னா அப்படின்னா முரண்பாடு தியரி ஒர்க் அவுட் ஆகுதுன்னு அர்த்தம்

அப்பாடா  தாங்க முடியலடா --- மௌனமே பெட்டர் னு தோணுது எனக்கு
உங்களுக்கு?

இதுதான் இந்த எழுத்துக்களின் நிதர்சனம் அதேசமயம் இதை எழுத்துக்களில் கொண்டுவந்தமைக்கு அவரை ரசிக்கிறேன்,  எப்படி நம்ம முரணியம்,

Tuesday, 26 November 2013

An appeal for Delhi state citizens - why your vote is valuable?

I am not interest to talk about politics but still I am concern about it. Because this only decides the life of many people. And whatever the decisions of whichever politician or party irrespective of whoever be in the chair will have the impact on society and its people. When this is so how a person who wants “sarvo jano sukino bavandhu” can’t live without that concern.

An aspect which considered as seva or service for mankind is now become profit making  business. I don’t think a man ,irrespective of who is , first spend his prime period of life behind his role model and then spend in crores just to get a seat in his party and contest in election, not knowingly either win or loose , even if win not know whether he /she will complete the full term or not , is a fool-- to expect that he will not demand money for every breath that he does at public.

The wealth greedy people are well used the power greedy people. And the power greedy people are intelligently used the people’s emotion and sentiments on their religion, caste. Today it come to a point that by throwing the roti on plate or by supplying briyani or alchocol , they making the poor and innocence to sign on blank paper in the name of vote.

Earlier it starts as party of variety of meals for the people who express their devotion and now it degraded to purchase of vote . On the contra the opponents  used the sentiments of their caste and religion. So none really speak for people. Today one who speaks for the basic need of people is considered as who is talking for development.

But the truth he /she not even speaks for basic needs of poor or common man, he/she speaks only for millionaire to become billionaire . The great leaders of Babu jagjeevan ram , lal bagdhur sastri , kamaraj who has been role model for everyone , where are they today?

It is you people destroyed them within yourself. The poison of sweet speaking politicians merged in ur blood like alcohol contaminated the mind and you. Can anybody think consciously for his wellbeing when he /she is in drunk. Never it is possible .

Have you not see the advertisements that speaks the dangerous of alcohol (drinks). Election is the time that you have to decide , about your future and well being. In this time if you not vote or if you cast your vote for money or alcohol or dinner that you getting then you not making the bribing person to win, but you signing yourself on empty bond which can use against yourself.

Then there is no point you keep complain that no development happen , without bribe no work happening, wherever I go everybody is corrupted . You have no right to complain about anybody because its you only sold your life by voting to these so called corrupted parties and politicians.

I am not saying Aam Aadmi party will be exception . They have yet to go in long way. But i hope and trust atleast they will not curb the budding hope of comman man in this country and become one more curse to this great nation. 

so It is time we must speak in echo in one voice, that political system , election system and administrative system should change in such a way it has to bring only right people who care for their society and people has to contest.

It is like keep removing the weeds if you want good output of crops. It is always ongoing process in every election. But if u not come to vote then it is more bright chance for the wrong people to get win and keep denying your basic rights.

So you decide. My dear fellow citizens the time has come to change the direction of growth for clean politics and good and transparent governance .

I know your question, what Aravind kejriwal can do for delhi , when congress chief minister itself don’t have power and support to deal many issues due to the control is in central government.

But right now only for delhi assembly , the kejriwal team is contesting. He only atleast speaking  clean politics and bringing jan lokpal. What happened to Anti corruption movement that rocked delhi and whole country?  I feel atleast he took some responsibility to bring it in action. How many people speaking about the movement today?

Do all you know what happened to the movement after the rape viticm “Nirbaya” case. The central and state government is announced strong and fresh laws. But did they broght till now? The answer is No

Have you not seen the difference of interest shown by political parties to bring Jan lokpal bill / women’s bill and food bill / FDI in retail bill / amendment on disqualification of MP/MLA’s in parliament?

Have you not seen how all political parties are so united in parliament to bring amendment against disqualification of MP/MLA’s on conviction?

Your vote to Aam adhmi is louder message to nation and first stepping stone to change the direction of course to end the corruption and criminals in the politics.

That’s why I am asking you, Dec 4th should become the turning point in the history of our election and our country.

Ensure your vote and your relatives and friends vote against corrupted politics. 

This will definitely change the equation for the parliament elections.

With pranams
Swami sushantha

Dear Delhi friends
why you should vote for Aam Aadmi party ?
1.    To show that the citizen of india is against other national and regional parties which is supporting corruption and  not supporting JanLokpal

2.   To show the nation is fed up with congress and BJP regimes , which not even address the basic facilities for its citizens

3.   To express that you are opposing to make the education and medical facilities as business instead of free service to citizens

4.   To express that you are unhappy about the political parties which are united to bring amendment against supreme court judgement on disqualification of MP/MLA but not willing to support Jan Lokpal or strong laws against injustice for women or fast justice system or the scams
What your one vote can do for you and nation?
Aware the whole nation is keenly watching the output of delhi elections only because of Aam Aadmi contesting

What you are going to say for corruption and vote bank politics based on religion and caste?

Your vote for AAP will ring alarm bell to all national and regional political parties across india.

Your one vote is the first step to clean the politics, end the corruption , bring the JanLokpal in parliament.

The time has come . Awake and Aware the value of your one vote


lead the change and Bring the change


in the lap of Himalayas--- visit to village Niyalsu (near rampur)

Generally for the world outside uttarakhand or india , Himalayas means it is just Badrinath, kedarnath, Gangothri , yamunothri and at the most haridwar and rishikesh. Except the people who love trekking or adventuring the rest will take tour to this part only on religious aspect.

Apart from these the interior valleys are explored only by nature lovers. But we could not able to relate these terrains and natures unless if there is not something which can pull our attention.

Though I had receiving invitations for various part of uttarakhand , very rarely I accept their invitation to be in that part. One main reason is there is no end for travel. The life keep travel beyond the death.

Another thing is, especially if we love either nature or trek or temples and cultures or any one of these aspect , I am sure one life time is not enough for any capable person to fulfill his desire.

Last year I got an opportunity to go to kalimath (one of the powerful shakthipeeth ) and ruch mahadev . even I wrote about it in blog. Just few days ago I decided to travel to a small village , Niyasu , near to Rampur which is 6 km before gaurikund.
lakshman with his parents and aunt

The main reason is Lakshman.  The young aspirant who runs English coaching class at guptakashi for the childrens. I have to say here that there is a group of youngsters who are in touch me with me , because of my English.  Though he also have to get more fluncency in speaking but still he is better than others.

The main reason is life is not demanding the language as it demands hindi for me. They mainly feels the lackness and loss when they could not able to converse with south Indian’s or bengali’s or foreigners.

Niyasu is his home village. Which is situated just 100 mts above Rampur, which is the market area for surrounding places. Rampur is unforgettable place in mylife , because it is the place we all stayed when we come in first dhayan yatra in 1996. I had a previlage to come in that first trip with viji akka and sadhguru.

Every time I cross this village, my memories and eyes are glitter with image of sadhguru standing on the balcony to address before we leave to kedarnath. I think  till sadhguru travel in dhyan yatra trips , Rampur is the night halt place while going to kedarnath.
beauty of flowers

This Saturday he decided to take me to his home. I could not refuse his invitation. So we both left guptakashi around 11 am. By the time we reach Rampur it was around 2 pm.

We had a tea and then started to claim among the agri fields . the houses on the slope of mountains really a beautiful look to enjoy. The typical village , not left with even a small space where they can construct building either for their living or for their cattles.

A group of young girls are standing and washing the clothes on the small stream that flows from top of the mountain greeted us with pranams indicated that we arrived the entry point of village.

On the other side the Young kids are busy with their world of games. The narrow path between the fields led us between small way , which reminded the streets of kashi.
the ladies on their work 

The smell of cattles and fodders indicated me that I am in typical village. Few of young womens received us down from hill with huge load of cattle feed (grass and leaves) that they collected from mountains.

On the left side a vinyl banner with sadhvi rithambara photo reminded their relief works for the people. An old school with house space varandha and a tree shelter was functioning little upper plateus. I become their attention seeker for some time.

It is like the village people and kids will watch the city man aravindswamy who enters their village in the manirathinam’s movie Roja. Though lot of difference in river tamirabharani terrain and Himalayan still people are same in their own way.

One could experience the innocence and unexposed people only when they travel to Indian villages. They never bouther about who rules the country or what the present rupee value or how the crime status in a city. All they know is very simple life and longing for better future.
the school childrens going back to home

Somehow by acknowledging all the children whoever I met with few words or pranams I reached his house. Just on the way , near the entrance , the magisha’s looked at me with some sense of strangeness. May be my orange colour disturbing them. Lakshman’s mother came and settled them .

Wow, very simple house with a open varandha and on the sides you have orange trees. I saw this orange tree almost near to every house with full of fruits. His brother Bharath was just recently joined in army.

Till recent they had horses also, which will go for kedarnath in season. One come thing in every village you can find many service personnels , mainly in army.

Immediately I reached few of his aunts came with heartful of smile . though we had issue of language , langue of love is able to understand by all.  Every one of them was very happy to see that their village boy speaking in English with a a swamiji. Above all they could distinct the difference between me and whom they exposed.

The great people , they kept themselves in such a way , dirty clothes , starr looks so that none will disturb them. For these villages it is very strange that one moves so easily with their kids and people. Even in guptakashi , I encounter. Every little child ,just 2 or 2 and half yrs old cutely will say pranams.

Then he took me to little further height of this village from where one can go down to sonprayag (which is just 3 km away) these people will go by this route to triyugi narayan. I must say , triyugi narayan is One of best landscape one to enjoy in Himalayas.
view of the village 


In the winter these places will receive snowfall . I saw some of his local friends playing cricket . the place is not a ground but little bigger step. The landscape is just like big big ,small or big width steps.

My mind had a thought to find answer , how the rain water goes down from these top without affecting the village residential houses. The canals are there.

After taking few snaps , he himself arranged a camera , we came down and went to the cricket field. Playing among with them gave me a lot .may be now after retirement I may play for them as coach in the local tournaments.

In this muddy pitch if ball has to bounce means one has to eat well else he can’t make it single delivery. We returned to his home. By 6 pm the darkness completely spreaded his carpet.

The low voltage reminded my stay at bhojwasa (on the way to gomukh) and gangotri in 1996 . too many hydro projects are going on but power is always an issue. but when all lights are there , i will njoy the symbol of  shiva linga form , on the opposite mountains from guptakashi , in the village ukhimath. it is such coincidence that if u connect all the house lights you will get exact shiva linga form.

But these days , especially after june disaster almost every one has solar lamps in their house. His father created a camp fire under the orange tree. We had traditional gadwali roties for the dinner and spend the night in the warmth of fire and coolness of breeze.
me under the orange tree in the night -next to fire

Amazingly we both tried to learn about photography in night mode , got some good snaps. (namalae sollikka vendiyathuthan ) when we go for bed , the room has no room to see whether sunlight came or not in the world unless if open the door or window.

Its typical traditional house constructed with mud so gives warmth to us as the people of the land. The night become wonderful one because of the dreams it offered to me .waked up early morning around 3 am and waited for them to wake up. By 5 am the light spreaded in the sky but not the warmth rays.


His loving mother gave me hot puha (lemon avul) with tea the maharashtrian food. A nice place to stay and experience the Himalayas in its own beauty. Waiting for another trip .

Monday, 25 November 2013

Cricket – me also retiring from national level

Cricket is not just a word for me . it is more than life. What! Is it sounds like some record holder speaking . no it is not exaggerated words , I admit this 100 percent. 

The passion for cricket in my age group is such , not just for me but for many,
I still remember how my cousin srikant Krishnamurthy longed to play for higher levels. I know classical sabapathy’s passion and committment behind the stumps , which is no way less than syed kirmani’s or jeff dujon. he is classical wicket-keeper cum 1 down batsman for arts college team during his days.
in the himalayan mountain steps 

But my first role model in bowling department  is my another cousin venkatesh . i think he represented for TNAU during his college days. His height is added his advantage of his pace bowling. 

For many of us the namakkal south school is not just one more school. These age people are the mentors in our town for many of us , by winning trophy's in tournament.

The vastness of this 100 year old school is set us sky as our limit. Yes not just we , from every near by village boys will assemble here with their “thooku boni full of butter milk rice and lemon pickle”. Yet we had an opportunity to be in ground for longer duration due to living just within boundary of  town limit.

These people few years elder to me are my mentor for cricket.  In shivaji’s house (venkatesh’s younger brother) they maintained a huge hand made note book. It’s not just book it is virtual library for all strokes to learn.

All the great personalities of  cricket  like malcom marshal, holding, zaheer abbhas , clive loyid , viv Richards , lory gomes, jeff dujon ,David gower , graham gooch, garner,  ian botham, imrankhan,  dilip mendis, yasphal Sharma, sunil gavaskar and kapil dev etc etc everybody lived in that pages. 


jeff dujon - WI - redefining wicket keeping

so I was introduce to the south school as a ball picking boy at the boundary line by their team at very young age, for my service I will get 10 to 12 deliveries to bat , of which accidentally few deliveries will touch my bat compassionately .

But mostly our cricket will happen either at the back yard of sabapathi's house or mine or raju anna's house front portion. it is biggest net practice for us , especially for me when i not even aware of those things.

Because you have to bowl from a open space to thru the door gate to the stumps. similarly if u hit wrongly the ball will bounce back ur head by the reflex from walls. that too we play with old cricket ball in the cement floor (at sababathi's house) . the left ramesh house back yard also has same kind of conditions but terrain is not cement floored. 

it also helped to face or read the ball with bat , never fear about breaking our bones . now if i look back how dangerously we played without know the dangers of consequences.

by playing in these world class grounds we acquire the quality of batting and bowling straightly to the wickets. the basic aspect of "V" area is very natural. that's why kannan was so strong in his defence.

in our house back yard the pitch conditions are so contra. uneven bounce and swing is always possible due to the small stones that occupied our pitch. but here we got good batting  practice for the spin.

Raju anna's house is totally opposite to all this - you have to play the game within 10 yard space. one who directly hit the wall (provided the fielder should not get u caught) will score - it helps you to play on drives and off drives

The team people impressed by my throwing ability and have enough trust on curd rice and dal rasam slowly asked me to thro few balls to the batsman . nothing know about line or length but just the force and unorthodox deliveries they will be more cautious as you seen in the movie “lagan”

That time the only college , normally in movies will be shown as only third grade students will study , unlike the movie in real life only best students reached that level of education. Because the very best will go for engg and medical etc etc.

So this college was  paradise for many many middle class that their younger generation is getting a degree. And hardly you need to go for classes because mostly it will be on strike for some reason which include from international issue of sri lankan tamils to the canteen's vada is not good today . so one can get plenty of time for net practice in the open grounds of south school or in college grounds. 

the college boys though they did not went for college never teach the younger generation such things. so if school is going on they play in college grounds itself.

Since all these people , many of them know each other’s potential and our cricket talent was sharpend by narasimman, his younger brother murali (off spinner), suresh anna , Raju anna , all of them are veteran cricketers played every ameature match continuously for more than 2 decades, this generation shined like Indian cricket’s trio era(sachin, dravid, ganguly) to our team .

Whether team stands for its name or not , the people who represented the team at their ages are really flying in colours today. So just by sheer strength of dal rasam and curd rice I was choosen and given training for becoming srinath .
On the other hand the cricket articles in the hindu magazine and its writer mohan enhanced my English reading skills. Slowly I started reading as public carrier instead of recognizing it as police carrier in the fast running lorries.


higher level of domestic cricket - present t20
Many times when I went for theatres I always thought why not they can put as way to pavilion instead of EXIT – how my mind struggles  to understand the meaning no one knows. Even today I have to check myself the difference between PULL AND PUSH written in doors.

This is simply because the game cricket has not used these words . but at the same time there is absolutely no issue to understand the English commentary . but I must thank the expert vallunar mani to invent new words which not only enrich the game but also makes us to enjoy the pongal holidays.

As seniors keep moving abroad (within the state to other cities) for their job opportunities I started filling the vaccum especially in opening the bowling on the other end. Because the first end was always reserved to our eternal team captain raju anna. i am sure even if we play today his line and length will be same as it was. i can guarantee you that.  He will not deliver much pace but he will use his height as biggest advantage which makes the batsman in all kinds of trouble.

namakkal south school -main entrance to vast grounds
 In that age itself me and my team members exposed to all kinds of innovative crickets. from T10 format to double wicket cricket , off side cricket , " V " area cricket (playing only straight -even if ball edged and goes to gully area you will be out) because of droughtness for players to assemble in  ground due to their family responsibilities or school responsibilities .

And we know how to milk the cost from the ball that very rarely we buy a new one only for a match. untill the ball gone into pieces we will not let it down. Many times our elders and veteran supporters like kalyanam anna will generously sponsor their team member ship fee of Rs. 5
old prayer hall -and 100 yrs old main bulding

But somehow all these people will join together and create a corpus fund , irrespective of whether they know the game or not, to buy and sponsor a new oil bat or BDM sticker bat. Sababathy is the man who will season the bat. because we believed the bat knows the game much better than us. it knows where to send the delivery . only thing you should do is somehow connect the ball. 

Though kannan always talks about straight drives whenever he tries to do most of the time it just become amaranth defense. He will be really amazing to see in ground, even for college team , he will anchor on one side by opening the innings.
Though he never played big innings but his presence and solid defence will give them a terror feeling that we not even make the opener out. I still remember sababathi’s classical fifty with a pull shot.
kapil- my fav cricketer

Just these peoples presence and arrival of channel 9 and tv’s in the streets , mainly the kapil’s devil team of winning 1983 world cup set up a fire in me. I was also improve well in my pace bowling department though I did not do much with bat.

As I become wicket taking bowler when the younger generation people like govinda and srikanth are started to join in our elite club.  but during our practice we can't (no one) take our people wicket so easily. because the batsman know the strength and weakness of bowler.

The family conditions, economy status of the club, drought for safety pads, somehow have to get a degree and a clerk job in life all networked together and made us not to work to become for a player of high caliber like tendulkar.

The bishop heber college grounds and exposure of trichy shaped my cricket life much better. The matches in EVR school grounds and on the banks of river kaveri earned me good recognition for my new ball bowling. Slowly I learned the technique of how to bowl the new ball though I don’t know how to read  the pitch conditions or dew factors.

When I get bank job it become more open space for my cricket because now no one can say i have to read and get good marks or i have to get a job for earning. The bank took me to “A” division matches and further high level trainings. The LMW venkatesh or their then team manager , the Ramakrishna college all took me to the heights of the game.
chinnaswamy stadium , bangaluru

First time in my life and me walked in the bangaluru chinnaswamy stadium. My team people the captain seetharaman, leg spinner selvaraj , medium pacer baskar gave me lot of input and shaped me well to play that high level(!) . The training camps also gave me good exposure to play with bat.

My strike rate with bat will also started increasing. Started to fly Pondicherry , Chennai and Bangalore. only when i search for new ways to keep my fitness and not to get more injury , yoga entered in my life by saying i can improve my playing skill and ability . so when i not get convinced to go for yoga , or to meet any sanyasi (thats my principle - that time -because of  kanchi periyava said , people listening my lectures but not applying in their life ) this aspect pulled me for yoga. And i lost my wicket on the first ball by him on 2nd august 1993. Joined in yoga class to sharpen my play skill and to move for company in sports quota.

These exposure and playing for the game and various good teams at various cities brought good offers from various companies including sankar cement, to join in their team for further training . they committed for higher level trainings and good income . already my book reading habit brought balakumaran in my life . now yoga added fuel to that fire.

Sadhguru’s presence and absence keep pulling me . some how my wicket taking interest has lost. I realized that I myself getting hit wicket in life. Above all also got opportunity to bowl for sadhguru which attracted more.

Very well remember the day in 2004 , after my parivarjaka life the first brahmacharies meet in ashram , somehow we played too many things to get the cricket match. We got one session for play. That time I was injured in my leg due to bike silencer. So every one started suggesting me not to play .
playing with sadhguru in a match -2004

But no one knows how I am passion for cricket except vasu (then swami badrabaghu) . inspite of lot of resistance from various circles he took me in his team and given me again opening bowling. i must thank for him to gave that moment in my life.

I never dreamed that I will get that chance again in my life to bowl opening spell in an match. Inspite of my leg burn injury, living out from ashram in parivarjaka days, that delivery gave all the meaning for my life.
my national carrier last innings at himalayas

The greatest of greatest player of the game is also not got such opportunity to bowl or play with sadhguru. Me not talking in the sense of game as number of runs , winning or loosing , advertisements, commentators etc etc but …. This could be feel only by those who have passion for something and love for him.

Even in my parivarjaka days , while walking on road side , never failed to wait and see somebody’s bowling or batting atleast for few minutes , no matter in how much distance they play.

My passion for cricket is well known in ashram residents. Though I had opportunity to play for many other games some how I like only this .

May be it relates life so easily as if the 11 people always waiting to make you out in life. They can’t unless you do the mistake or misjudge the time or misread the line of delivery. The 11 opponents are nothing but our own limitations and desires. the 5 gnanaindhiriyas and 5 karmendriyas and desire to do  always using the life to thro the unexpected deliveries. no matter how much past records you have , it will not help to handle this one new delivery. 

Guru's blessing and grace gives better vision to the life moment and makes you to respond at your best. inspite of his protections we might do errors  and loose our wicket. but if u keep your homework well you will be selected to play one more innings. may be one day you have to retire from high class game because you will understand none of these records, trophy's can't satisfy you anymore. you will move from playing for the team or match to just to play yourself. no more comparison with anyone else. you will become a player of your own calibre in your own world.
my bowling role model- alan donald (SA)

irrespective of your experience and technique still an young powerful opponent (death) with more life makes you to feel that your eyes getting aged. But heart is passionate for game and run , never willing to hang up the boots. the journey keep continous beyond the boundary line.

this makes the player so humble . i am sure not a single player of any game is not concern about his achievements or records . its all just social. they just workout them self keep  focused how to conquer  the  whole moment. he/she know his/her prime age is gone but not his /her passion for the game. 

The intial day injuries and other issues take a huge toll on body. After playing a match if I ride a bike I can’t put gear or press break properly . my hands and legs will not carry my instructions. But still the passion for game I am not able to give it up.

Whenever the talk of tendulkar retirement aired in the wind , it also remind that I also not yet hang up. But my heart still not able to give up. At last after tendulkar also announced i also have no choice .  That day is long day for me. when the moment came in the village niyasu , near rampur , i thought it will be appropriate to acknowledge all those who offered this passion.

I avoided to see his final moments and farewell speech. I don’t want to cry .but I was also in tears whenever i feel for him,  because my time also …….i have not build my carrier or life on cricket but still cricket played major part of life to get involve in many things. it taught me persiverance. it taught me to wait for my opportunity. it taught me team work. it taught me leading from front. it taught me how to acknowledge others. it taught me how to keep myself open in this moment by keeping aside of past. it taught me to work in passion and intensity. it taught me taste of failure and success. it taught me so many other things.

many many occasions i kept aside of my age and physical limitations only in cricket and for cricket.  It is not much important thing in my life now , as it was 25 yrs ago. But still the game kept me just as like a college boy. these days when people referring me, by saying that i am playing well , i am reminding all those who offered this to me with gratitude.

I know my running between wickets has become slow. I know my pace is not as it was. Like the life has many twists and turns my ball also changed to spin deliveries . my strike rate is still better. But still I have to end my carrier to make life to move out of boundary life on some day.
connecting the life and moment with my bat

The high peaks of Himalayas given me a chance to announce my carrier end at national level (pottukalame ) in peak . The visit to himalayn village niyasu formally become the last innings of ameture carrier.
i never dreamed to play for state or nation, but i dreamed to play just to play in my full potential. 

now i have left with one dream , which is just i wish ,i have to play atleast once , with my old flying colours team mates , at namakkal south school grounds. i know many many of my friends, colleagues have given up the game part in their life. for them and for the world i have something to convey. never give up the game and your effort , no matter how many fielders(life situations) make you out. 

only then when u turn back to pavilion for the last time in your life you can walk with pride and brave. when one innings come to end , we can wait for another innings at some other level. 

My last innings of ameture carrier also in same lines of with out pads, abdomen guards , with out scores, same 3 overs. But this time I had better run rate and strike rate unlike my debut in the game.

What a previlage to end up the carrier in the same starting point but in high altitude. The innings  is over but the game cricket still continues in life. Earlier I came as wicket taker , my strike rate is very low , never claim myself as batsman to defend my wicket.

But now I learned the art of defence . my strike rate also improved. Now I need to take my wickets in my come back carrier from kedarnath.
pitch is never a constrain for one who know how to play

i thank all my flying colours team members , whereever you are now to gave me such wonderful contribution in my life. i thank all my ex-bank collegues and the people who gave me trainings, people who offered me better job opportunities by acknowledging my game.

i thank aringer anna arts college team mates (though i have not played under the banner but i played with many of them in local teams) who set a standard in me to play the game with much dedication and passion. 

i thank my parents who never stopped me to play inspite of getting many many injuries , carrying the toll in my system.

i thank jack, swami nirvichara, vasu , sekhi, raja , dilip, swami aloka, and the beloved sadhguru to keep my cricket passion alive even after i moved from main stream of life who all played with me in the initial days and latter days of ashram.

i thank the home school pt teachers and boys, saravanan , kapil , swami bekura and swami amola, who understood my passion for cricket and encouraged me inspite of my physical limitations

may be one can think why this write up ? what i achieved in terms of game? yes i started the game as ordinary boy , played without training or any proper safety support. injured fingers, leg bones, back , eye etc the 22 yards given me lot and lot more than what i expected .

only because of cricket i came to yoga.and rest all followed. beware one day  i may rock with cricket with your neighbours son's  if i happened to be in your area. now i can also claim , i played cricket  from kanyakumari to kedarnath . what a wonderful feeling one to achieve in life. Thanks to all to give this in my life.

above all people may thing why i announcing my retirement from national level. it's simple logic i don't have teams to play , i don't need to play to win the game . i don't have any level's to represent. i can simply play just to be with my team mates.

Sunday, 24 November 2013

Dreams - a big puzzle of life till one can understand and explore himself

i understand dreams is also like thought process of mind connecting with the images that perceived in our life. i know sometimes dreams communicating something whether we understand or not. i know sometimes dreams are manifestation of deepest part of mind. i also know and had experience of same dream is repetitive at regular or irregular interval. i also had experience of continuing dreams from where it has been left, after waking up for nature call and fall back in bed. few days ago i had some strange experience of watching a movie - a full movie - one is english and one is malayalam - this is the first time i am seeing that movie - and i yet dont know whether it has been screened or whether it is going to produced in future -only if i come across anywhere in future may be i can relate or not - but sterday had a experience of same dream at regular interval (i did not wake up inbetween) appeared three times - during the third time in the half way i realised it is same dream again appearing third time on same day and got up . i also had experiences of continuation of dreams sometimes in day time or early morning after got in work in the backdrop of eyes. but above all still i see this is just thought process of mind. but the puzzle of dreams i could not yet figure it out .

i still remember many many dreams from my childhood. many dreams i also know when and how realized in daily life. but one thing i must acknowledge dreams make the night and sleep beautiful though i dont have any knowledge about it

But dont try to interpret it unless it itself unfolds for you because for ur mis-interpretation then u will blame the dreams - then it never knock your nights  :)

does any where in the world , is anybody needs volunteer for research . :)

are you using android phone -here a good news

i just come across a news , which is about various useful mobile applications - go thru it and what ever u feel relevent for u , take it

here the link for the page - hindustan times

http://www.hindustantimes.com/news/specials/ht-brunch/index.html

Saturday, 9 November 2013

மௌனம் பேசுகிறது

அவனா இவனா என ஆராயாது
அருகில் அமர்ந்திருந்தேன்
அப்போதே அழகாய் புரிய வைத்தான்
அவனென்றும் இவனென்பதும்
அறியாதவன் மொழி என்பதை,,,,

உடனிருந்த போது இவனென்றேன்
உயிரிலோ இவனை அவனென்றேன்
உணர்ந்த தருணங்கள்
மீண்டும் அவனிடம் அழைத்துச் சென்றபோது
அழகாய் பேசவிட்டு அதை
அக்கக்காய் பிரித்து மேய்ந்தான்

வேதாந்தமோ சிந்தாந்தமோ அறியாத எனக்கு
என்பேச்சில் தானே வெளிப்பட்டு
தன்னை சிக்கல்படுத்தாமல் இருக்க கருணையோடு
எனக்கழகாய் உணர்த்தி என்னுள் என்னை மௌனமாக்கினான்

எதை நான் செய்தாலும் - அதை
எப்படி எப்படியோ செய்தாலும்
அதில் என்னை நானே பிரதியெடுப்பதை
எனக்கழகாய் உணர்த்தி
குருவென்றும் உருவென்றும்
கருவாகிப் போன பொருளை
மெருகேற்றி ஒளிர வைத்தான்

அதையும் இதையும் என
எதையும் பேசாமல்
அதுவாக நின்று அவனாக மௌனம் பேசினான்

அவனது பேச்சில் தெரித்த மௌனம்
கண்ணாடியாய் எதிர்நின்று
என்னை எனக்கே பிரதிபலித்தது

அதில் இங்கொன்றும் அங்கொன்றுமாய்
எண்ணத்தின் நீர்குமிழி
கவனத்தின் அலைஒசை
சப்தங்களை நிசப்தமாக்கி
நிசப்தத்தை கங்கையின் பிரவாகமாக்கியது

ஒற்றைக் கேள்வியின் முற்றுப்புள்ளியாய்
ஒடுக்கி அடங்கி ஓங்காரமாய் விரிவெடுத்தான்
சப்தங்கள் செவிப்பறையோடு அடங்கி
நிசப்தங்கள் நீராவியாய் நீண்டு மேல்எழுந்தன
கொதிக்கும் அணுஉலைச் சத்தத்தை
கொஞ்சம் கருணையோடு கேட்டிருக்கவேண்டும்
குளிர்நிலவாய் அடுப்பை அணைத்து
கருணையோடு மௌனமாக்கினான்

பேசிய மௌனமும் பேசாத வார்த்தைகளும்
பேரலையாய் எழுந்து என்னை என்னுள்
மூழ்கடிக்கின்றன
அடித்துச் செல்லப்படும் வெள்ளக்காற்றில்
அணைத்து கொண்ட கரங்களின் ஸ்பரிசத்தால்
இனம் புரியாத மௌனம்
இதமாய் என்னுள் பேசுகிறது


Kedarnath – the spiritual treasure - one more opportunity to be in his fold

Experts from my discovery channel interview (edited)

Question : now you are survivor of the huge disaster? Do u feel god has saved you?

Me : I may die tomorrow or after ten years does that mean god has let me down at that time.  

Question: Huge disaster and death happened at kedar? Do you want to go again even after witnessing the disaster?


Me: Daily lot of accidents happening in highways , does that mean should we close all traffic ? have people stopped using their vehicles ? 

Kedarnath , for ages beyond history , ever since Himalayas formed in the  geography ,the place and its sacredness described in our culture. For many many centuries the place is accessible only for ascetics, even in them only for few got the opportunity to be in his fold for few moments because of so many tests one has to go on the way to reach his abode.

Adisankara - the man who visited the kedarnath in 7th century even before present day transport mode was not there

Sadhguru always says kedar is a place which will pull the every spiritual seeker towards it . The scriptures describes the place as, the abode of Shiva. In our culture and tradition, the family has been taught, how one should prepare and go to such places . They always seen with high reverence and perceived the journey as sacred yatra, not as a tour to enjoy holidays.

And just the process of yatra, the expectation of unexpected things in the process, the devotion and faith got thru religious teachings makes one to experience the surrender and trust, moves him from belief to experiential process.

May be I think, even if one approaches this point of GPRS by whichever way , still the journey and the dimension of yatra gives him/her something beyond their understanding .

Because in this terrain condition, in this altitude, even physically one to make it, even for just because of his interest of tourism or ecological , still it also has all kinds of factors to play a role for spiritual possibilities.

May be he/she may not aware of what they got it , how to preserve it but still they can’t miss the impact , even beyond the life and death.

My first dharshan

Now looking back myself, I wonder how I asked such question, what is there in Himalayas? When he given me a choice to choose to come with first dhyan yatra with sadhguru in 1996.

I was a person who does not know except few towns in tamilnadu. The only city is in my experience and exposure is Trichy. Not even travelled much to the state capital Chennai. The few places who I visited also only for purpose of cricket , never for tourism purpose or spiritual aspects.

The question is with me at that time ,  due to my understanding I thought what a place can offer just by going there that too just for a short time in his/her life. But that trip given me so much beyond my understanding though I could not understand anything , even now.

Especially the boundary of kedarnath, which normally considered from guptakasi , I felt a strong difference between any other place that I visited. Surprisingly I got another opportunity to visit this sacred boundary again in july 2001 , in the rainy season with very few people , shown me different face to me this time .

But my logic still had the question,  if it is true that the place has something to offer to individual being for such great possibilities and experience and put them in the process of transformation from within, I always wonder why the people who living there not all, why not all , why at least few has not got the same kind of transformation within themselves. 

But this also gave me to understand it is not just place, it mainly depends  on how one prepares  and involves in the process by applying the tools of devotion. Above all Without the grace of Guru and the great beings and without the blessings of divine no such possibility for anyone no matter how much ever whatever he/she does to experience.

We could see in many people that years of experience is just vapours when a doubt arises in a mind. Similarly years of faith and trust becomes doubtful in no time when a situation arises.

As the saint manivasaga says in his thiruvasagam (சிவனவன் என்சிந்தையுள் நின்ற அதனால் அவனருளால் அவன் தாள் வணங்கி) – “sivanavan yen sindhaiyul vandhu nindra adhanal avan arulal avan thazh vanangi” – which means because of the grace of shiva , a thought poped up in my mind , which followed by my action of bowing down at his lotus feet by his grace .  what a wonderful saying

Here in this culture, in the name of sadhana , as  tools of devotion have created  and offered to us by our rishi muni’s and siddha’s  . The tools not only  preparing the mind and body but also becoming tools of reception for what is been there in the place by getting connected.

sabarimala yatra

The path of devotion is so powerful and simple , like forest fire it catches a human so effortless. I always wonder on simple’s people’s love and devotion though I could see the unawareness, ignorance, madness of love in it. Many times it’s a struggle for me and my logic on those moments. But still I could not resist myself to bow down to them.

At the same time yes as sadhguru says , it gives a complacence. Many time even in my personnel experience I could not figure it out , whether I move forward or backward until someone points out my mistake.

Also I found it is their faith and belief gives them lot of strength to deal various complexities of daily life. Though I have not gone anywhere beyond our Indian boundary, even within the boundary not much, still I can guarantee 100 percent , what this tradition and culture gives to humans is nowhere , no country gives to their people.  

Though the science has reached many mile stones in various fields still it is not come nearer to the mystery of human beings. But our sages and siddhas has not only offered solutions but also created the device so that anyone can explore himself in these highest and subtle dimensions.

Difference of Time and Travel mode

In ancient days the travel mode is huge challenging task, either mostly by walk or by bullek-carts. Also only two kind of people who travelled across other than kings, either for spreading their business or for learning. Even in learning mostly to find their guru’s , to find their person to guide them in spiritual path.

The latter kind only travelled to sacred places as yatra either before meeting a guru or after meeting him with his guidence, to prepare their body, energy and receptivity.

These places and the process of yatra, not only helped them to break their bondage's and limitations or blocks in their energy system in order to receive the higher dimensions of life but also offered them many subtle dimensions. society around them also get benefited when they started to share.

This made hindu sanyasi’s live only on road , in the parivarjaka life, as wondering monks. By the impact of these people , many others also started their pilgrimage. The process gives an opportunity for one to live in the lap of grace.  I got an opportunity to live like this for an period of nearly an year , during which period I also got another chance to dharshan kedarnath by his instruction.

When sanyasi’s and brahmacharies  got this kind of process , on the other hand the family people got the opportunity to travel to various sacred places in the name of  12 jyothirlinga yatra, 51 sakthi sthal yatra , 108 vaishnav sthal .


Though travel mode has become so comfort in these days and gave opportunity for many many to visit these extreme ends , other factors such as economy and finding right time in their life process is still difficult.

Amarnath yatra

Eventhough people does not know the science and tools of the process , still atleast few moments unknowingly getting the glimpse of the essence of the process . 

But at the same time , the advancement of mobile technology and their usage among people , is huge distraction for the sacred process . Though physically one goes thru the same process , most of the time either they connected with their family and friends or business contacts and keep discussing the same old issues and stories, which keeps them to live in their minds.

Otherwise during the trip , they keep discussing their own stories and versions among themselves . So it is very rare to see people who undertake yatra, as it was taken by their elders in the past. Because of these distractions , the sacred process is just becoming like an ordinary tour and does not have strong impact as it was.

On the other hand , in the name of improving the tourism , huge doors has been opened without any proper system or guidance make the people just value for money than the process and persons.

Apart from this even in today’s life situations have offered useful technologies , still one get an opportunity  to travel in northern part of country, especially to the Himalayas only after 40+ and by the time many of them have BP/sugar etc. Also due to extreme vehicle usage in the plains many of them even forget they have given legs to walk.

The present scenario

In such scenario one coming to kedarnath , in such altitude to walk 14 km with their luggage , for many of them it is more than Hercules task in their life.

But The technology advancement in travel mode, especially the recent development of helicopter services, as they claim as spiritual solace, gave lot of elder citizens to visit the shrine even after they themselves formally given up the idea. At the same time it also has adverse effect in various dimensions since every kind of man starts to travel, that too for different purposes for this kind of spiritual places.

Especially after the june flood in the recent days many documentaries and self claimed scholars and environmentalists are started writing different columns without have any idea about either culture of land and started to question the beautiful process of wonderful religion by just seeing from one dimension of either environment or economy aspects.

They started asking why one has to travel to kedarnath? Why not people can go to other places? They forget the every place and person is a unique dimension of life. Will they design and maintain every room in the house in same way? Even the smallest aspect , which we call as house has million dimensions in various proportions.

Without understanding any aspect of life , simply by the knowledge of books and the degrees they got , just trying to find answers. And complicating the informations they getting , by their own interpretations , and presenting it in distorted way.

But their bravery will not allow themselves to raise such question in any religion. Some of them even arguing to stop the age old process and yatra for the reason of environmental issues instead of demanding the government to use the technology and offer the real development without corruption.

For all of them I must ask few questions. Are these environmentalists fighting against selling of materials in plastics, which are thrown away across river banks, roadsides after usage over across every village side of the country  ?

Is it process for higher dimension or subject for politics to woo vote?

The yatra or pilgrimage is exist in every religion. But the pseudo secularism speaking people for their political gains trapping innocent people and asking questions only about hindu culture which prefunded in the valley of river sindhu and not dare to raise the same with other one’s.  

The process of questioning these aspects either by himself (atma vichara) or by debate (vadha, pradhivadha, samvadha ) all existed in this culture. Atma vichara means one question himself by deepening his own observation to find the truth and subtle aspects in to it. When two people can debate it can happen , both the people can discuss the subject for the benefit of those who listen , in this case both will be in equal calibre (samvadha) or they can take the role of opposite poles to question and explain the aspects (vadha, pradhivadha).

When the same is been happening between two , in which one know  it in depth and live in experience , the other is beginner of the process or one who is in the process it become the transmission of Guru and shishya. Since this process is only brings receptivity to receive , this aspect is so alive not only in spiritual process but also applied in other fields. The one who is giver is revered as guru and the receiver is seen as disciple. 

Only In this culture People have been taught, as a culture to choose and follow their own wish of god. since from childhood one is been taught these dimensions in the name of their kula devatha, girama devatha and ishta devatha ( family god, village god and the person can choose his own god depending on his interest and choice).  

One can raise his own questions and choose the path that suits for his logic and faith. Even one can live without any faith. The freedom has been given for each and every one. Each one respected for their difference. No one compelled anyone with his/her faith. Even the criticizer of the faith and the path has been seen as a supportive tool for one’s faith and path.

Even today one can see these things in a family. But inspite of their difference they all live together, worship together in rituals for their family deity or village deity. Similarly the aspect of yatra also knowingly or unknowingly followed by individuals and groups.

I still remember , even 20, 25 yrs ago,  if one starts his pilgrimage for sabari mala, before they leave the house for the journey , every kind of last rituals has been done to him. And in their home , their people will light a Aganda Deepam, and make sure they worship the lamp both morning and evening. Till his return they will make sure the lamp keep burning.

It is the faith, that light should guide him in his journey from darkness to light , a process of transformation from ignorance to enlightment. Also the light, the element of fire will give the warmthness in the cold, shows the way when he lost in the forest. Everyway light is the source of life.

That’s why they started the day always with surya namaskar, an invocation of light in their life.

Economy based life – the man made disaster

All the understanding and science behind the rituals slowly getting evaporated in the process of building our economy especially vote bank politics has started to rule.  when the land has been for ages and ages under invader’s rule still it is not happened.

They never questioned any of these process that prevailed in various parts, even today many foreigners coming here to imbibe these wonderful aspects from this land.

But When the man just calculating in terms of economy he/she lost the experience of life ,because in every way his own calculation is taking first priority than the purpose of what he/she earns.

They also never asked why people go yatra’s ? Instead we see they themselves supported to build temples , to allot lands for maintenance of temples , acknowledged the sages and saints.

They themselves went pilgrimage either for huj or Jerusalem which is considered sacred in their religion. Never neither them nor any one asked question why only those places are sacred? instead respected and supported. 

But the modern facebook man , self claimed authors and research scholars, with their distorted knowledge that gathered here and there from google search engine…… only seeking how to get his mileage either as document producer or novel seller doing propaganda to such theories is the real man making disaster .


bodies burned in kedarnath

Though I could observe and witness all these, still my exposure and depth is very very minimum in this dimension. This is the fact. But still I feel previlaged when I look back myself, for many not even getting one time opportunity to come to kedarnath, me getting this opportunity of dharshaning the place ………….

The last 3 months

Though this time, I had got an opportunity to live in Himalayas for longer period , though I had visited kedar few more times since sep 2012, after rescued from june flood next visit to kedar , even as a thought is so remote.

On the other hand whatever I witnessed keep dragging me in various directions in my thoughts. Though I could understand the scale of needs and my capabilities still I could not help myself without thinking what I can do.

Now I feel in the name of improving or offering the best I not accepted the life around me as it is. But it took some time till some one points out , whatever we talk , whichever we talk it is just same in different way.

At the same time I could not miss or ignore whatever be the situation that I encountered in past 3 months. One hand it had lot of things for me to keep engage and improve , work for. Other hand nothing I know what I can do next morning.

But the treading in the path and time ,slowly unveiled life by itself , according to my level of understanding. Some how the urge to go to kedar is once again popped up and much more strong in me , once the pooja’s has been started in the temple on 11th sep 2013.

When I go back to guptakasi after 3 months , I have not felt any difference till I am nearing to Srinagar. I could imagine the status of rehabilitation works when I see the mud came in the flood waters still kept the buildings in his fold.

The roads between rudhraprayag and kund ,which is 7km before guptakasi is just a witness of evidence for how that moment passed in the planet and here in this part of land.


the river widened his kingdom by taking the road space

the new mud road going - 500 mt low to old one

When I cross augusthyamuni , I sincerely felt that as if the government is just urging to open the kedar yatra due to political games since it has decided not to allow anyone else to support the task of rehabilitation process.

The vehicle just gone down nearly 50 ft , just in river bed and again claimbing up after nearly 500 to 600 mts distance. This is the reality at many places . Especially when claimbing up , that too in the sloppy mud , one can observe his imagination process very clearly and without any effort.


Atlast after many postpones the newspapers and media carrying the message of government about the opening of kedarnath yatra on 5th oct 2013. Though they claim in media , it is enough just to register (that means one has to give his details at the offices and points and should go) but in reality they made it as permission getting process.

That too if u don’t have id card you will not be given permission. Even in amaranth yatra , I have been heard that sadhu’s who are coming for yatra , they themselves get the details and give a photo id card to manage the security reasons. But here that formality also not followed, leave about me , few sadhu’s who took kedar as their shelter not allowed to go just because they not had any address .

I had encountered same kind of situation , after I come in rescue operation, after I escaped for life by not even looking back for my materials , after the flood waters decided not to leave any minuscule , none of any government authorities , whether it is uttarakhand or tamilnadu or central government not able to help me and keep asking for my id card.

Though I silently imbibed their ignorance and humanless attitude , I could not able to see it as act of god , just saw as it is such uncare for life around you. Not even the basic sense of intelligence , how we can ask for an id card or pan card or some document from whom who came from a place which was affected in such disaster , which was spoken by whole media .

So this time it is not new to me to see how much they think. But at the same time my logic still not able to accept and keep pulling me to join in some forum to bring the change. This is biggest hurdle for me , doing something for social that too when I myself don’t have either strength for it or support behind.

Walking in new path

Though I planned many schedules to go to kedar but still somehow some thing I felt as hurdle and keep postponing for some reason. The main thing though I wish and long for to go to kedar , the local people’s threaten me not to go as the new route is not possible for me to make it.

Also mainly somehow I did not felt to take the first step for the yatra so kept postpone. When I see the post of tilak soni , who is from uttarkashi I also thought of joining with his team but I totally forget because of not a single thought about dates and days.

But accidently in one fine morning I met two people who has the background of kerala. When they told about tilak, only then I came to know that it is his team of people.  At last in few minutes I also joined with their team.

The trek highly demanded lot and highly reminded many many people. At many places the top soil reminded the essence of people who lived in this earth.


The spex frame, the lone sandex , the abandoned helicopter, the cooking utensils that left by shop keepers , the sound of the mandagini , the silence of the zone everything speaks lot to me .

when I reached the bhimbali camp it was evening 6 pm. The trek route from sonprayag to gaurikund on the new older route – I can’t call this as route . it is just newly made on muddy slop created by landslides. If one has not walk careful or if even a small stone threats you by moving , we will fall ourself in the down just in fear.

But for one who exposed Himalayas this is so natural. One thing that both geologiest and mythology of hindu system accepted that Himalayas is still not yet grown up as mountain.  It is common saying that only because of its  bondage with truth or dharma it withstands.

At the same time It was given me a good feeling that I still walked 12 km distance in 6 hours after so many months. But the shiva has not kept me in same feeling for long. The police on duty not accepted my id and permission copy. Nothing big reason its just I could not travel as I planned earlier so the date is the issue.

Without any single thought of expectation about next day went to bed. In the dark, before the sun spread its light started the day , by preparing myself mentally to go return . But the police in charge surprisingly given permission to proceed.

The busy rambara is nowhere except the sound of water. Atlast the flood given the opportunity for the government and district administration to change the iron bridge for the first time . I must thank for the flood atleast for this . since 1996 I was travelling in this trek path .

Another thing there is no government appointed beggers anywhere in the path who can ask for money for their duty to be done in the name of shiva or yatra.

The widened path was become like single man walking path. An temporary bridge at the lowest level , which can’t withstand for the next rainy season has been made to cross the river just before rambada to go to the other side of mountain for the new path made.


The new path till reaching limcholi reminded me the trekkers in the ashram.  Somewhere the mind jumbed with the thought people like swami acheleshwara , who love adventure will like these kind and the kedar trek is  now be a feast to these people than pilgrims. But for a devotee it is always not a matter to discuss.

from the point we cross to the opposite mountain , till we reach the top most camp in helipad area , the trek is simply reminding me velliangiri . the small space to walk, the steps , the usage of knees it is just like keep walking 3rd hill and 4th hill of velliangiri mountains in western ghats.

i sincerely felt as if this time the steep climbing , the nature of path , just gave the experience of feeling continuously trekking in velliangiri for 3 time distance.  though there is not a single shop for u to relax for tea , many places have opportunity for next year shops will bloom. And to woo the votes and to satisfy the locals the district administration and the government will definitely open the doors for this.

At few places I can guarantee you , one can’t trek to kedar in the rainy season due to the streams. After reaching the top, at the limpcholi , had a tea and registered with the police before claimbing down to move further.

But at the same time, i have to acknowledge the district administration for the arrangements in the camp. In the bhimbali the government itself running the kitchen. Both in the limcholi and in upper camp , the gayathri parivar was handed over to run the kitchen.



Now at the last phase huge demanding and challenging trek unfolded. Though it is just for few hours it is not so easy for anyone. On the right side there were people working to create a new route ,if that can be get connected the trek at this point will be little easy.
me with memories , standing in the place where i stood in water nearly for an hour

By the noon I reached the camp site at the helipad area , 2 km before the kedarnath temple. After 3 months atlast he decided to bless me with his presence. The mind is full of memories.
Stood sometime in the place where I stood in water nearly for an hour. spend the day in the grave yard where shiva chooses to live. The current status brought too many things within me. ( project kedar – see another post)

The sampoorna arathi in the evening too much for me. The presence of  chandragiri swami , bharath seva sangh’s swami jagadheeshanandha , the samithi people parasuram, tiwari all lived in thoughts.

At the end of arathi , the pradhan pujari blessed me with shiva’s garland. Both of us in flood of memories for each other to share.

after the sampoorna arathi with pradhan poojari -outside the temple
The project kedar(document preparation) made me not to go again for Samadhi pooja . But that is not important. I can get his appointment even in next year. But when his place is not clean , it will not bother him. He can live in smashana but many will fear to come.

Shiva will not happy if he not seen his devotees. They may do foolish things. But their devotion to him is unquestionable, no matter what they do? Or how they do?. Because their presence will make him more happy. So we should make the way for that.

I did what I felt.

This gave me his presence again in the banks of river. Not only his presence , his powerful absence also has something for me . I would like to see a day where going for kedarnath or being in kedarnath should be a pleasant and precious experience for every one.

And he will make sure that every one will get it that.

but it is in our hands to keep the yatra alive, not for religious sentiments but for the precious culture of land. May be we may not understand many things that exists in a culture but we don't have right to claim whatever we not able to understand does not exist or wrong


one who understand his freedom and trust on what he/she is believe will naturally respect others also .