Sunday, 27 March 2011

Not just one more monday- my first meeting with sadhguru

It was August 2nd 1993, Monday. The nation prepares for the celebration of its freedom. Me also preparing myself to appear for another big tournament in Bangalore in next couple of months.

The new cricket ball in my hand swings much better than ever before. Captains will select me in playing eleven because of minimum of two / three wicket chances in my first spell. Don’t know anything else . And the exposure of more and more experienced players seasoned my action.

The coaches, training camps made me to live like a dream player which I thought for many many days. The exposure of higher league matches made me to realize how much effort and skill needed to go as one among even in the 15 probables. First time I thought why I not lived in a metropolitan city.

In the same time, Swami Nirakara who was a known friend for me long time ago, due to various social activities, said that there is going to be a yoga program in namakkal city.  He was attended in tiruchengode city earlier.  He   was organizing so many like that at that time, naturopathy camps, spiritual camps, social projects etc etc. Ofcourse he is one of the pioneer for many of us, to start our carrier. Initially I was reluctant because of not willing to meet any sanyasis or swamis. 

Since 1989, though even before, still this year is a significant mile stone in my life, to turn inward.  By that time I was living on the banks of river kaveri, at mela chinthamanitiruchy and on the other side of the river it was sadhguru shri Brahma’s ashram which I came to know only latter life exposed isha to me.  But I am sure that, just being in that radius, brought many things to my life including various experiential processes that lead to unanswered questions.

But the same thing ended up when I  read  the lines of  an article ,it goes like this,  that if fruit get ripped bird will come to eat similarly  guru will come and grace , no need for one to search for him.  These lines ended my book reading habit and searching for answers to the questions offered by life. Exactly 3 months later, now Swami Nirakara, and then prabhakar asking me to join in yoga class.

He keep on explaining benefits of doing yoga which I am not impressive but when he told , I can be better player in cricket if I brought body , mind coordination I started to think about it.  The hesitation is not because of yoga or any other thing, but basically I won't to go and ask anything, even in temple, since the feeling of what some one or god can give if i live without working for it.  I visit temples to see its architecture, to live in the space where magnificent people created huge space for the divine at least for some time in my life.

Though I was reluctant with in me, somehow he convinced me to join in the class. So I joined.  First day when I go, first time I wake up very early in the morning, even before sun rise, took my bicycle. I used to go like this only if cricket practice session is there otherwise......when I cross my school, on the way to the mandapam, a thought for few minutes to go inside and join in cricket practice. With my friends. Few seconds I could not decide which way I should move further. But something pulled me, the main reason how to answer Anna if he asks sometimes later. Any way I am not going to meet some swamiji or sanyasi, so I went to the mandapam from there.

At the entrance, the first glimpse, he stood in white and white, talking to few people, suddenly something flashed in life. The first three hours with him, I don’t know some way I like to be with him. I just looked up him totally, not a single word that he spoke I listened.  But the way he spoke Tamil, I enjoyed. First time some rules entered in my life and I took some responsibility for something to happen in my life without knowing.

The most important thing, I had sound sleep for first time after long time, since I know. It has neither dream nor questions. Both disappeared for first time. I met the man who I dreamed; sorry the man who I dreamed beyond life times graced the moment of my life with his compassion.

Much later I came to know, he is the guiding light, Guru

But now 17 years gone since that monday, much things happened. Every week has Monday . But this Monday and this moment  only once in my life.

For the role he took, I yet to become worth 

Let  I make it happen at the earliest?


Today chennai sadhguru's class closing - 14000 and + participants -  what to say?
the marvellous work of many many volunteers just stood every where in the program area.
sadhguru  .........   no words can express
what can i give to him?
just bowing down to all who made this to happen and grace the moment in my life

Saturday, 26 March 2011

Then Kailaya Viradham - viradham initiation

when i started this bhakthi peravai activity all i know is , i need to get involve in promotion activities.  what should i do? how can i gather support for that?  but as slowly as i get involve in , as you walk in the dark forest vision gets adjusted me also ....
though i have treked to velliangiri many times,  in may 2009, i had a trip to this mountains which is significantly important in my life. yes i went this time by having a process and with blessing of my guru.
this time i had kept processed black gingely seeds (black ellu) in my head,  i could say that this trip is the key for the new world that i now travelling. many many things unfolded naturally when it needs, without even me looking to search for it
then without knowing what to do for the volunteers who worked with me , to promote the sacred hills, i thought of  organising  an trek program to velliangiri mountains. i called nearly 45 people and prepared everything to my knowledge of what are all required for the trek. few of  the previlaged people who i have with me, taken the financial burden for that.. But only  23 people turned to that. infact many of the people who turned on that day with me , still walking with me in this long yatra..
That trip was really a turning point  i would say.  (i will talk about it later) but  those who not turned on that day got more interest after they heard the people's talk, who came for the hills. Also lot of enquires started coming about viradham  process. i could not able to say anything since i have not yet clearence to do it nor i dont have any idea of how to do it (at that time).
But atlast oneday tey asked me to do it. I also announced the dates for it. without knowing what i will do, i announced program for 3 days. .the first batch of 21 people gave me an opportunity to see myself that something like this is possible in my life.
Though i have no idea as how to conduct, the grace and blessing of guru simply overpoured on these days, that a person like me can keep people engage for continous 2 and half days. . slowly it starts evolving by itself.  that i am waiting now for the 3rd initiation program in a couple of weeks.
i could say, that these few days, made my life so worthy to myself. suddenly it gave a different meaning altogether. Every moment of these days is a different world by itself though same person, me experiencing.
only these moments , the burst of valcano with in myself, make me to firm and committing myself to reach more and more people.
when i see the people's experience who made yatra to velliangiri with this sacred process, i always pray for shiva, that every one who comes to these mountains has to get this opportunity.
viradham initiation program, oh what can i say about it?
only it is to be expeiience .
before i conclude , i need to acknowledge and express my gratitude and thanks to all the volunteers who made this to happen in my life
oh ! shamboo !!

Friday, 25 March 2011

which one should i get?

few days ago, i happened to travel in train for some work. while i speak to the organisig person , they asked who else is coming with me ? i just joked as , nearly 1000 people in the train. then they said , no not that, dont joke , we asking who else is coming with u. ofcourse the conversation keep going on but it triggered the question in my mind and the way we use our words and get lost in those words. similarly people used to say " living alone"  this also , in my point of view, when i feel as i now, or due to my 17 years or more being like this i feel .... when i live with so many people around me ......
just thoughts make me to feel the contradictions of life
but it makes the world and life more beauty
one who understands the contractions may become silent within himself or he can confuse and complain
that's all the choice
let me get the first one by his grace

Wednesday, 23 March 2011


v';nf bry;fpnwd; >

v';nf ,Uf;fpnwd; vd;gJ bjupatpy;iy
v';nf bry;fpnwd; vd;gJk; bjupatpy;iy

vg;nghJ ghh;j;jhYk; Vnjh epidt[fs;
fdt[fsha; bjupe;jhYk; fz;,ikfs;
cwf;fk; bgWtjpy;iy

vz;zw;w kdpjh;fs; vd;Dld; ,Ue;jhYk;
vz;zpf;ifapy; rpy kdpjh;fs; kl;Lk;  capnuhL
fye;J cwthof; bfhz;oUf;fpd;wdh;

mt;tg;nghJ cwf;fk; fiye;J vGe;jhYk;
fz;fs; kl;Lk; fdnthnl ,Uf;fpwJ

tHpg;nghf;fdha; ,e;j gazk;
te;jth;fisa[k; czutpy;iy
tug;nghfpwth;fisa[k; bjupatpy;iy
Mdhy; brd;wth;fis njLfpnwd;
ehDk; ,e;j gazj;jpy; brd;W bfhz;L
,Ug;gij mwpahky;..............

vd;whtJ xU ehs;
,yf;fpy;yh vdJgazk; Kot[bgWk;
mijna ,yf;fha; bfhz;L MrpbgWk;

mg;nghJk; Koa ,ikf;Fs;
epd;W nghd \r;nrhL VjhtJ fdt[ ,Uf;fyhk;
mJ vdf;Fk; cdf;Fk; kl;Lnk bjupatuyhk;

mg;nghJk; vdf;Fs; ehd;
v';nf ,Uf;fpnwd; vd;gJ bjupa[kh vdj; bjupatpy;iy
VjhtJ epidt[fs; ,Uf;Fkh vdj; bjhpatpy;iy
ePahtJ fUiz bfhz;L brhy;thah>

Tuesday, 22 March 2011

vazhipokkanai - article written in old forest flower -2001 and bhiksha day

my first article - about our yatra - with his blessing with fellow brahmacharies in the year 2001- with my photo after receiving my first bhiksha from him on the day - 4th aug 2001- at haridwar- happened as Raksha Bandan (a day that significance for special bond and love to your dearest) -swami nisarga written about the bhiksha process experience - here in this page only mine is there
Add caption

Monday, 21 March 2011

towards better

any thing if u want success needs very good planning.  so i started to plan for everything. and in the process i forget implementing . after much of mistakes and price given i learned and shifted my focus to implementation. when i attempt implementaiton i noticed the difference between theory and pracktical.
there theory does not worked as i expected so i changed my theory. now i wrote theory according to what can be done , it is more i took it with higher authorities to get permissionn.after seeing complications of practicallity he asked to keep it asde
but me not able to do so , since i felt somewhere it reverbrate my life. slowly i learned both is important
but in what preportion is depending on where and what we need to do
happily startted once again
this time better coordination between my mind and body

Wednesday, 16 March 2011

pirar parvaiyil nan

mikjpaha; mkh;e;jpUe;njd;
nrhfkh vdf; nfl;lhh;fs;

thh;j;ijfspy; gjpy; brhy;yhJ
jiyahl;lypy; gjpYiuj;njd;

Vd; > ngr khl;Oh;fnsh>
vfj;jhskha; nfs;tp te;jJ

rup nghfpwbjd;W tpsf;fk; Twpndd;
mjpfk; ngRfpwha; vd;whh;fs;

Kuz;ghLfspd; Kfk; fz;L
]KGikaha; mkh;e;jpUe;njd;

mikjpah vdf; nfl;lhh;fs;
jiyahl;lypy; gjpYiuj;njd;

Cikah eP';fs;>
nfl;lhy; gjpy; brhy;y khl;Oh;fnsh

vd;d cyfklh ,J>
vth;f;F g[upa[klh ,J>

(in transliteration)

Amaithiyai amarndhu irundhane
Sogama yena kettargal?

varthaigalil bathil solladhu
thalaiyattalil bathiluraithane

yen? pesa matteergalo?
yegathalamai kelvi vandhadhu

sari pogirathendru vilakkam koorinane
adhigam pesugirai yendrargal

muranpadugalin mugam kandu
muzhumaiyai amarndhuirundhane

amaithiya  yenak kettargal
thalaiyattalil bathiluraithane

ooumaiya ? neengal
kettal bathil sollamatteergalo?

yenna ulagamada idhu?
yevarkku puriyumada idhu?

idhuvum un sothanaiya?

Ada kaduvulae
followers ingaeyuma?

Thappikkavae mudiayalaye
enga ponalum

kattula pogum podu - followers avasiyam
bayam pogum

nettula edukku followers?
appurum enga
thanithiru , pasithuru, vizhithuru - nadakka

ennappa idhu
indha yezhaikku vanda sothanai?

Monday, 14 March 2011

oh! my dear anandha

i met or he met i dont know but we met each other in 2001 or 2002 at isha yoga centre. He is so genious and in saffron cloths. so silent and spending many years with violin . As his violin speaks seven notes he also spoke but if only asked by any one by words else by silence and smile. ofcourse he enriched my life with music too. and the light that he ignitiated into musical lamp still burning i hope may be atleast next life time , if it is there, i can sing or play some intrusment .
again after the life wave separated us again we met but this time both of us is not as we are. i moved into saffron cloths and he moved from saffron cloths.
now again he moved and connected with internet . one thing is for sure . i have not lost his connection since v met no matter where he is or where i am. it is so subtle and silent as underneath of the ocean only i and he can feel that .
today i read his blog , ( i renounced sanyas? i am sure , he is talking about it for the first time.
as adisankara says in nirvana shatkam
me is neither this nor that
but who am i?
if i find the answer , definitely his journey and presence also can be felt into that
because it is my gratitude and love for him
oh! my dear anandha
i am also walk with u in your journey somewhere in this planet
swami sushantha

Saturday, 12 March 2011

one of the graceful day in my life

for the past one and half months - y from nov 2010 - some how i am not able to take people to velliangiri yatra as i do due to ubnormal rains followed by unusual situations . though many people told about their hidden support on the back yard to do it , i simply not acknoweged with smile. somewhere in my mind it keep on chatting that i need to be wait till mahashivarathiri festival , mar 3rd 2011
similarly during this period i went to hills only twice one in december and another in viradham yatra which is in jan 2011. after that even i tried somehow by manyways i was reminded not to come there .
and atlast after mahashivarthiri today the first yatra , v r going early morning of tomorrow (sunday 3 am) . when i go for yatra orientation session, the hall is full with 45 + people and the session went very well
a thought popped with in mind someway yatra is crossing the dry area period and moving to wonderful period with the grace of the master. i felt so overwhelmed and silent myself
thanks to my beloved guru
and my gratitute to all those who stand with me in this phase of yatra, with u people only it is today possible

it is my previlage

when i look the people who are around me
what they doing is just incredible
many times i feel i am not worth to receive from them
it is my previlage and blessing of my beloved guru to have such people around
i bow down to all of them

nothing equal in this world

after long time
today after the yatra orientation session i went and sat in the dhyanalingam temple
though it looks like few minutes i was so silent and deep within me
i really dont know how i had such peace within myself

Friday, 11 March 2011

thought is just a thought but it has life when u have it

too many things in my head but i can work one at a time so no problem of any stress
these days though it looks outside as if i have no work - many things happening silently
which i only can witness - may be god knows but who knows the god to check this
new new people joining into the fold and pouring their love and grace to make this happen
always feeling high when i feel this and met these kind people
and also question pops up in the mind - am i worth for this?
to enjoy the life at this 7th hill peak where u can see the world and surrounding much better
when i see the longing of those people , to claim the mountain , i am wondering myself
don't i have such longing ? what makes me grazy to go for yatra again and again
definitely not the reason of no one is there or any compulsiveness
but someway in the middle of the process i started enjoying the complexities
which makes me more alive and less hesitation and resistant
this is only my feeling in this moment - i don't know how far is this true to myself
see today again with 40 to 45 people - though same terrain now the scenes are different
how the experience will be i  dont  know ?
but no choice for me either to cry or to jumb in joy
simply function like a toy
though i dont have any prayer i wish to become prayerfullness
so that me will be more receptive and doorway for the cool breeze
a famous quote of jesus allways come or i seen when ever /where ever i am in this situation
"my society will go in front of you" ( yen samugam unakku munbaga chellum)
so i trust shiva will always go in front of me to clear the hurdles and pave the way
so as to reach his lotus feet
let this yatra to velliangiri become such one for all the people who comes with me
and who offer this great previlage to me
i bow down
swami sushantha

Velliangiri - the abode of shiva

no matter how many times u climbed
still the mind doubts
only because surrender blossoms
and leads to prayerfullness

every step that u counts
also makes u count
the number of bone joints

sometimes when it count too much
u will scream not because of joy
just because of  u moved it to work
from its immobility

first u chat while u walk
then  u keep asking how much more
later u will chant
that makes you get connected
with the silence and stillness

and in the presence of shiva
you will get a glimpse of his world
that kept  you in tears
for no reason

once u come down
mind will chat as no more trips
heart will say all his grace
legs will pull u to his abode

is not just mud and rock
neither the forest nor the mountain
words become freeze and limited
but u become limitless

makes u to live in that moment
realize urself  how a miniscule u r?

it can happen only by his grace
no matter how u r?
and who u r?

oh! shamboo
make me to be in ur lap
all the moment till my last breath
no matter where i am?
and how am i?

swami sushantha

Not to Forget me - oh! my Gurunadha

  (English version)

Marandhidamal Iru - yen Gurunadha

nee vazhukindra boomiyil
nan vazha thaguthi illai
ayinum nan ippiravi kondane
nee ippuviyil vandhai enbathalaeyae

piraviyum pethamaiyum saerdhu irukka
veru enna thaguthi vendum enakku
ippuviyilae vazhal vadharkku
kuraindha patcham yen pethamaiyai kalaindhidavavathu
vazhalndhida vendama

yen yella velippadugalum muttalthanam
yendru unardhapinnar
yethai seivathu? yethai  viduvathu?
adhanal  adilavathu
muzhumaiyai vazhalndhida aasai

sari yendrum thavaru yendrum tharam pirithu
sari pathi nadai pinamayai vazhalndhidatha
santhosa muttalaai naan

nee karunai kondu vandhu yennai aatkondal
nan unnai varavettrathaga sollamudiyum
manniyum yen pethamaiyai
marandhidu yen pizhakalai
anal marandhidamal iru - yennai mattum
adhvum nee arul palikka vendi
anudhinamum un ninaivil nan vazha


swami sushantha

kwe;jplhky; ,U - vd; FUehjh

eP thGfpd;w g{kpapy;
ehd; thH jFjpapy;iy
MapDk; ,g;gpwtp bfhz;nld;
eP ,g;g[tpapy; te;jha; vd;gjhnyna

gpwtpa[k; ngijika[k; nrh;e;jpUf;f
ntwd;d jFjp ntz;Lk; vdf;F
,g;g[tpapny thH;tjw;F
Fiwe;j gl;rk; vd; ngjikia
fise;jplththJ thH;e;jpl ntz;lhkh>

vd; vy;yh btspg;ghLk; Kl;lhs;jdk;
vd;Wzh;e;j gpd;dh;
vij tpLtJ> vij bra;tJ>
mjdhy; mjpyhtJ
KGikaha; thH;e;jpl Mir

rupbad;Wk; jtbwd;Wk; juk; gpupj;J
rup ghjp eilgpzkha; thH;e;jplhj
re;njh# Kl;lhsha; ehd;

eP fUiz bfhz;L te;bjd;id Ml;bfhz;lhy;
ehd; cd;id tuntw;wjhfth brhy;y Koa[k;
kd;dpa[k; vd; ngijikia
kwe;jpL vd; gpiHfis - Mdhy;
kwe;jplhky; ,U vd;id kl;Lk;
mJt[k; eP mUs; ghypg;gjw;fhfj;jhd;
mDfzKk; cd; epidtpy; ehd; thH

!;thkp !%#he;jh

Thursday, 10 March 2011

patience or inability / stagness or stillness

sitting idle
without knowing what to do
mistaken as stillness i reached
who knows the erupting valcano
splits its dust all over around
days and time will pass
but when this pause will end
who knows
learn to wait with patience
too much patience may be
looked as inability
do u think how to cross this inability
here is the way
start writting poems
may be few will screem with joy
that makes u joy and able

at last i landed here

at last i landed here to drop my mind